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One Size Fits All

from Water Wears the Stone by TR Kelley

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lyrics

one size fits all (1994)

i wanted a skirt something pretty and bright
so i set out for mall one saturday night
was irritated at the labels, large, medium and small
but the most insulting tag is "one size fits all"

i took a deep breath and grabbed one off the rack
went in to the dressing room, closed the door behind my back
first i put the left leg in then i put the right,
i pulled it up a little and it was getting kinda tight.
then i heard a thread pop, then i heard a rrrrrrrip
this dinky little rag was stuck around my hips

half the women in the world are over size fourteen
but where they hide the clothes for us remains to be seen
we come in all sizes small and short and big and tall
and there aint no such thing as one size fits all

i took the rag to the counter i showed it to the dude
he said "you better pay for that" with a snotty attitude
here's a hundred eighty pounds of pure power and grace,
of womanly perfection in body and face
my body or my attitude neither one is small
and i refuse to knuckle under to one size fits all

i said sit down shut up you pompous little shit
if you look here at this label, it said this skirt would fit
so it ain't my fault that it ripped down the side
even though my thighs are big and my ass is kinda wide

but i have a cool solution to this mess that you have begun
you can sell me two of these for the price of one,
and i'll sew them both together i can do it pretty fast
with good strong seams that i know will surely last

and then i'll sit you down with a big black pen
and you'll fix all these tags so this don't happen again
he looked kinda defeated and he said o.k. fine
he picked up the first one and wrote in size 9

so i left the store triumphant i was feeling mighty good
i try to educate i try to make it understood
half the women in the world are over size fourteen
but where they hide the clothes for us remains to be seen
we come in all sizes small and short and big and tall
and there ain't no such thing as one size fits all.

credits

from Water Wears the Stone, released January 1, 1995

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TR Kelley Oregon

This pre-Raventones page has music from TR's 1990s acoustic years, which ran concurrently with here time in Babes With Axes (also available here on bandcamp)

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